Children in House with ‘Proud Union Home’ Sign Go on Strike

Dayton, OH: The teenage children residing in a house with a ‘Proud Union Home’ sign went on strike Monday over their below-market wage rate and unfair working conditions. Homeowner Harvey Thompson, the union steward of Sheet Metal Workers International Association Local 24 and a fierce advocate of his union brethren far and wide, was immediately dismissive of his teenager’s protestations. “Give me a break. These kids have a nice roof over their heads and access to a family car. They should just shut up and do the chores I pay them $3.00 an hour to do like climbing our dilapidated wooden ladder to clean out the gutters and using the non-self-propelled push mower to cut the steep hill in our back yard,” stated the 49-year-old patriarch of the Thompson family who was simultaneously preparing for a union meeting in which he would argue for an hourly wage increase and an enhanced pension offering for Local 24 members or else they would go on strike. “I mean, these ungrateful kids just want more and more so they can maintain their lavish lifestyle replete with fancy clothes and the latest smartphones” the union steward argued as he walked past the new 20′ bass boat parked in his driveway. As the union members voted to go on strike per Mr. Thompson’s urging, a text message from his teenagers indicated they too were ceasing all further work activity until their wages increased. “Damn kids…”